As we progress towards a global world where gender, caste, creed and country do not matter in the professional world, one of the biggest challenges women face today is how to balance their personal and work life. With increasing expectations from both sides, today's working mother finds herself struggling hard to maintain the balance. The situation gets worse in the television industry where work schedules are erratic and hours inhuman. TC spoke to some of the celebrity moms from the television industry on how they are coping with this challenge.
Shubangi Atre (Kasturi) :
Being a working mother, that too from the television industry is very difficult. When I started the show (Kasturi) my daughter (Aashi) was one and a half year's old. I still remember the day I got selected for the show -- I had to travel in the middle of the night. You know how difficult it is to leave an infant in the middle of the night and leave. But I had to and thus immediately called my parents and asked them to stay with the baby while I went for the shoot.
I think it is very important to have either parents or in- laws around for working women. It is impossible to manage otherwise. In fact, just the other day I saw a story on a national channel about how maids and nannies gave sleeping pills to babies to put them to sleep for long hours. I shuddered to think what would have happened to Aashi if someone did that to her. With parents it is so much safe. I am so relieved that my parents stay with me in Mumbai. But I also understand it is not always possible. So my advice for all working mothers who do not have the luxury of having their parents or in- laws around is to stay with the nanny for some time and only after you are comfortable, leave her alone with the baby.
Now Aashi is 3 and very happy seeing me on television. She waits for 9.30 pm everyday and watches my serial! In fact, she was my role model when I played the role of a lady who had become a kid mentally, because of an accident. I tried to imitate her on the sets and was praised by all for my performance. In fact, Aashi wanted me to get back all the toys I used during the shoot!
Interestingly, my daughter is already getting offers for ads but I don't want her to take it up now. One offer had a weird shift timing so I said no. I do not have any problems if she decides to take this up as a career.
Gouri Tonk (Wife of actor Yash Tonk and also an actress):
I had loads of problems balancing my work and personal life. Since there are no fixed timings in our profession, it becomes very challenging to maintain the balance. My daughter Pari (5 years old now) used to have loads of problems initially with me not around for a large part of the day.
Luckily my parents stay with me now and thus there is not too much of an issue. I am completely against the concept of a nanny for the baby. After Pari was born, I have become very selective in terms of taking up offers. Yash and I sit down and identify which offer to take only after considering all possible outcomes. I have certain rules -- no shoots outside Mumbai and no night shifts. Only if the producers agree to these conditions do I take on the role.
Despite long hours, I don't want to take Pari to the sets now because I have seen kids losing their innocence on the sets. I tell her that I go to my office everyday which happens to be the studio. When she grows up, she can decide for herself whether she wants to be part of this industry or not. As of now, Yash and I want to provide her with the best of education.
Pooja Bedi:
Though it may sound very cliched, but I have never faced any problems due to my workload. I have always been associated with quality shows on good channels and have always kept a gap (at least two-three months) between my shows so that I can spend time with my children -- Aaliya and Omar. I have also taken my children on the sets. For example when I went for Fear Factor, I took my kids to South Africa. We even spent a holiday in Sun City after that. Even during Bigg Boss, I used to take my kids on the sets. I am very fortunate that both my kids are very sensible.
But I can understand the plight of mothers who are part of daily soaps. They work on such tight deadlines that it is impossible to spend time with their children. It really is very difficult for them. But I feel they should somehow try to get some time out of their busy schedules. And most importantly, no working mother should feel guilty of not being able to spend time because of working.
Lubna Salim (Baa Bahoo Aur Baby):
This problem is faced by all working mothers, irrespective of the industry they work in. I feel the magnitude of the problem depends on the age group of the child. Once the child grows up, the problem reduces. I have two kids -- Farhaz and Faizee -- who study in class seven and nine respectively. Both of them have been in hostels for a long time.
Since both my kids liked outdoor games from their childhood, and there was no grounds near to the place where we lived, we decided to put them in a hostel. Of course, there were some other personal reasons also for which we got them admitted to the Bishop School in Pune. They stayed in the hostel for a long time and have grown up well. My elder child has come back and is with me now. The younger one is still in the hostel.
I feel, for working mothers, no matter how many maids you have, unless your husband helps, it is not going to be smooth. My husband, being from the same industry understood my constraints and helped me a lot. But we have to face the fact that a 24 X 7 job is not possible for the mother. For a child a mother is more important than anyone else and she needs to spend a lot more time than anyone else. I strongly feel that if working mothers think that they do not have the time to spend with the child, they should not conceive.
Eva Grover:
I have a 17-month old daughter. Her name is Ayana. After she was born, I took a break of 5 months before starting to work. The initial days were very difficult because I used to miss her a lot. In fact, it became so bad that I started bringing her to the sets. I just could not concentrate on my work without her. My mother helps me a lot with babysitting whenever required. Plus, I also have a maid who helps me a lot.
I feel it is very important to keep the baby close to all family members. Though today most families are nuclear, I feel having a kid grow up amongst grandparents is very important. The more they are comfortable with your extended family, the easier it will be to continue working.
Aparna Tilak:
My son is 13 years old so I do not have too much of an issue now. Plus I have also reduced the number of serials I do. But initially it was difficult. I feel it is better if someone starts working after the baby is 2 years old. What most people do not know is that I started working after I became a mother! My husband encouraged me a lot and he has been a real boon in my life. He takes care of our son when I am not there. No matter what people say, the mother needs to make some more adjustments. Till now, I have been able to manage somehow. Thank God that we are being able to provide him all the facilities. Once he completes his education he can decide for himself whether he wants to join this industry or not.
If I remember rightly, Rani Laxmibai of Jhansi went to fight a battle with her child tied to her back! If she could do it, why can't we?
No comments:
Post a Comment